Destructive Criticism
Do you see the bugs? Or do you see the flower?
Do you see both?
Are you a "details" person? or a "Big Picture" person?
Are you a negative person?
Or are you a positive person?
Does it depend on the day/season/ability to cope/situation? I'd say for most people that would be true.
But I would encourage parents/teachers to REALLY find out who they are, and who they are in different situations - because who YOU are can affect the children in your care (and future generations) in ways we might never imagine.
It's very much on my mind right now to just have a quick word about "criticizim".
Do you criticize things/people a lot?
Do you know the difference between stating facts and criticizing?
Scene One: In a carpark - children in the back - circling around trying to find a carpark:
"There's a carpark! Oh no! Both those cars are parked too close to the line and there isn't room for us between them."
or
"There's a carpark! Oh no! Look at what those stupid people have done! Rotten parking, I don't understand why people can't park properly, are they just too lazy to bother, don't they care - they shouldn't have their licence ..."
Be VERY careful. If the 2nd script plays through your mind, keep it in your mind. You are shaping your children's opinions, views and manner to a large degree. If they CONSTANTLY hear critical, negative, angry thoughts from you they will bring critical, negative, angry thoughts out quite naturally during their life.
Scene Two: Watching a game show on TV:
(listening to the questions and trying to answer, applauding when a contestant gives right answer, commiserating with them if they miss out).
or
"What HAS that woman done with her hair? She's too fat for that dress it's disgusting. He think's he's so hot - I can't stand that guy! I can't believe it! Thick as! How can you not know the answer to that? It's all rigged anyway."
The negative, critical, sarcastic, mean, unkind, malicious things you say about others shapes the way your children are thinking. It also shapes how they think about themselves. They carry a heavy weight, thinking that the whole world is judging them every time they make a decision or venture to speak.
Yes, people are judging, but many are supportive, many are forgiving, many are blessed by them being in the world, and love them completely for exactly who they are.
How do they know that there are supportive, forgiving, blessed people, loving people in the world if all they hear are critical, negative, hurtful, angry comments coming from the ones they love and admire best?
Being critical can become a way of life for some people. Maybe they've picked it up from someone else. Maybe they don't realise they are constantly critical. Maybe they do realise. Maybe they've practiced it and are proud of saying "That's just the way I am."
Check yourself. How much positivity can you sow in your portion of the world today, to counteract the destructive criticizim that is rife, and seeks to destroy our precious children?
